After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Be still, my beating vagina.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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