If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
