It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
