He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
