I just pynch a tree in the face
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
