I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
