dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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