Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
