Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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