uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
