I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
