is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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