Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
