How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
