in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
