He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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