Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
