margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
