If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
