I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
