What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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