I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
