but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
