dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
