my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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