you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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