Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
