It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
