im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
