He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
