Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
