we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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