Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Randomize
