I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
