How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
