just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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