No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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