I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
