i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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