if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
