I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
