well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize