I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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