I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
