Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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