Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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