Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
