You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
