I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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