Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize