Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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