sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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