All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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