your parents love me but you hate me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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