The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
