I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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