Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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