Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
