Umm I'm too high to move.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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