I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize