i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
