I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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