I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
