whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize