im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
