I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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