Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
