haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Randomize
